No Place That Far (Stolen Moments 2)
by danceswithhorses
Summary: I've always felt it should have been Carlisle instead of Alice who came back in New Moon, so here it is. Alice's can't-see-the-werewolves thing is nonexistent. She sees Bella jump but also sees Jake pull her out of the water. She does mistake it for a suicide attempt, and Carlisle goes back to Forks to find out just what's been going on in Bella's life since the Cullens' departure.
1. Chapter 1

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY ASSOCIATED CHARACTERS.**

***This story will make vague references in later chapters to my previous story, Behind The Mask. It can be read as a stand-alone. Please, R & R!**

**And guys, don't worry. I'm still working on Behind the Mask...just had this idea and had to get it down.**

**Carlisle's POV:**

The ride to Forks was silent and long. The darkness of the car was broken by the illuming glow of the buttons and gauges, but the silence was thick and heavy.

I didn't even turn on the radio, the buzz of my thoughts enough to keep me occupied the whole time and then some. I didn't know just what I'd find there, wasn't sure I even wanted to know.

Why? Why would Bella, of all people, try to kill herself? It was inconceivable, and my non-beating heart squeezed painfully. Bella, my daughter in every way that ever mattered, was in such despair that she had tried to take her own life.

My foot tightened on the accelerator, and the car responded smoothly, leaping ahead on the deserted highway. I had to get to Forks.

I had to understand what was happening to my Bella.

**Bella's POV:**

Jake and I pulled up to the house, still arguing. "Look, I really don't want to talk about this right now," I said.

Suddenly a long, gleaming black Mercedes in Charlie's driveway caught my eye. I recognized that car.

The hole in my chest intensified, the raw edges rubbing holes in my heart. I gasped for breath, wrapping my arms around myself in the automatic gesture Jake had become used to seeing in the months since I'd known him.

"Bella?" he said, his anger momentarily forgotten. "Bella, what's wrong?"

His face twisted in disgust, then anger and concern. "My god, there's a bloodsucker here – I smell her. Bella, I have to get you out of here. I don't know how Victoria got past us," he said, his jaw a tight, angry line. He started the truck before I grabbed his arm desperately. "No! That's Carlisle's car," I pleaded. "I know that car. Please, Jake. It's only Carlisle."

Reluctantly, he stopped. "It could be a trick," he argued. "Victoria could be inside that house right now, waiting for you."

I reached for the door handle. "No," I protested. "It's Carlisle. I know it."

His silence forced me to look at him. "I can't protect you here, Bella. This is _their _territory. You are about to cross a line!"

I held his gaze with more strength than I'd had since…since _he'd _left.

"Then don't draw one," I snapped, jumping out of the truck before he could stop me and racing up the walk.

I heard his enraged snarl, but I didn't stop. I had to see him, reassure myself the whole thing hadn't been a figment of my imagination.

That they had really happened.

The house was dark – Charlie was still at the Clearwaters, helping arrange the funeral. I groped around for the light switch, suddenly afraid.

What if it _was_ a trick? What if Victoria was the one waiting for me, after all?

I finally found the switch and the room flooded with light.

**Carlisle's POV:**

The house was empty when I arrived, and I decided to wait for either Bella or Charlie to come back. I needed a little bit more time to think.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed when I heard a truck in the drive. I was about to go outside when I caught the smell.

Standing stock-still, I held my breath to prevent the odor from penetrating my lungs, listening hard to be certain Bella wasn't in danger. She was arguing loudly, but without fear, though with Bella that didn't mean much. She never had known when to be afraid.

Finally I heard her walk up the steps, and I knew she'd seen my car. Her heart beat wildly, erratically, as she darted inside and started fumbling for a switch.

When the light came on, she whirled around and came face-to-face with me.

For a second she just stood there, staring. I couldn't believe my own eyes. Large bags hung under her eyes and her clothes hung off of her stick-thin frame. "Carlisle!" she gasped.

And then Bella started to come apart. She began to shake, tears springing to her eyes. In the next heartbeat she flung herself into my arms, holding onto me like a lifeline.

Sobs shook her from head to toe, and I wrapped my arms around her, murmuring the first things that came to mind. "Shh, sweetheart, it's all right. Daddy's got you."

I eased backwards until my legs hit the couch. I sat down and pulled her into my lap, holding her as tightly as I could without hurting her. Her arms went around my neck as I rocked her gently. _What have we done? _I asked myself, anguished. I could feel the sharp outline of every bone in her frail body. Surely, surely this couldn't be because we left. Surely we hadn't done this to her.

When she finally began to quiet, I shifted her a little and handed her a tissue. Embarrassed, she blew her nose. "I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice soft even with my sensitive hearing.

"Bella, sweetheart, you have nothing to be sorry for. I should be the one apologizing."

I moved her so she was sitting beside me, so I could study her. It was worse than I thought. Her gaunt, sunken eyes told me exactly how she'd been sleeping – or not sleeping. Her cheekbones stood out in hard relief, and she'd lost at least ten pounds that she could ill afford to lose. But the worst of all was the hopelessness in my baby girl's eyes. They didn't dance anymore. They were dead, in every sense of the word.

"Oh, Bella," I whispered. "I wish I'd known sooner."

"Why would you care?" she whispered, genuinely puzzled. Sadness and misery touched every word.

It was worse than I'd ever thought it could be.

"Bella, listen to me," I said, forcing my voice to be firm. "We never stopped caring about you. None of us. We haven't been the same since we left you here behind. Esme doesn't have anyone to cook for," I was rewarded to see a small smile, "Jasper blames himself for what happened at the party. Emmett still makes crude jokes, but I catch him holding that picture album you gave us, and he's tracing your face with his fingers. Alice isn't happy without someone to be her Barbie doll. Even Rosalie, in her own way, misses you being there."

I could see she wanted to ask about Edward, but something kept her from it. Not for the first time I had to wonder exactly what he'd told her in those woods – he never would tell any of the rest of us. It had been for Bella's good. We'd all agreed on that.

"And…him?" she asked at last, unable to bring herself to even say his name.

"He misses you too," I said simply. She didn't believe me, but I let it go.

"And as for myself, Bella, I lost my daughter. A daughter I loved with all my heart."  
I thought she was going to cry again, and I felt like joining her, but she was exhausted. She just leaned against me, and I stroked her hair, vowing to myself to find the old Bella no matter what it took.

"Where's Charlie?" I asked gently.

"He's at the Clearwaters," she explained without lifting her head. "Harry had a heart attack. Charlie's with his family. He said not to expect him until tomorrow morning."  
I hadn't known Harry very well. He'd been as reticent towards us as most of the reservation, but he'd seemed like a good man. I knew Charlie and Bella had been close to him, and for that I mourned his death.

"Bella," I said, "you're going to go upstairs and take a shower, because you smell like a dog."  
The old Bella would have laughed and glared, but I didn't even elicit a reaction out of the lifeless Bella beside me.

"Jake," she murmured. "Sorry."

So she was hanging out with werewolves. I wasn't happy about it, but I wasn't about to call her on it, at least not right now. We would deal with it later.

"And after that," I continued, "you're going straight to bed. And in the morning we're going to get this straightened out. I promise, Bella."

I winced as soon as the words were out of my mouth. We'd already broken so many promises to her. What reason did she have to believe me now?

But she let me pull her to her feet and point her towards the staircase. "You're not going to leave, are you?" she asked desperately.

"I'm not going anywhere," I assured her. "I'll be upstairs as soon as you've finished with your shower."  
Satisfied, she dragged herself wearily up the stairs. I watched her go, pain wrenching me from the inside out.

In the name of protecting her, we'd done something horrible and possibly irreparable to Bella Swan.

The front door bounced open and heavy footsteps came through the hall, bringing that horrid smell with it.

I looked up to see Jacob Black come around the corner, breath coming in short spurts, fists clenched at his side.

"Jacob," I greeted him.

"Where is she?" he demanded.

"Taking a shower," I answered, keeping my tone polite. Bella didn't need a confrontation right now, no matter how much this werewolf might try my patience.

"What's your coven doing back here?"

"I'm alone, Jacob." I saw a spark of relief in his eyes before he covered it up.

"Let me rephrase, then. What are _you _doing back here?"

"I had no idea, Jacob, that I would find her like this."

His eyes softened just a little, as his gaze went towards the staircase. "She's been getting better."  
If that was better, I could only imagine what worse must have been like.

"Jacob, did we do that?"  
The anger was back. "Like hell you did, bloodsucker. You and your stupid leech of a son. He broke her heart and ripped it out of her chest. For five months she checked out of life. I was bringing her out of it, and now you're back."  
"I only want to help her, Jacob. Same as you."

He snorted and turned on his heel. I winced as the door slammed on his way out.

"I'm sorry about that," Bella said. I looked up, and she was standing at the top of the stairs. "Jake can be…volatile."  
Within half a second I was standing in front of her. "He does want to help," I murmured, not wanting to upset her. "Now come, Bella, you need to rest."

I tucked her into bed, climbing up to sit next to her, my back resting against the headboard. I knew she needed rest, but there was one thing I needed to get straight first.

"Bella, I know you've been feeling abandoned. But suicide is never the answer," I said, keeping my voice gentle but firm. "I wish you'd felt you could have confided in someone, but I'm here now and we're going to help you get through this."

She blinked. "Suicide? Carlisle, I didn't…"

"Alice saw it," I cut in, keeping my arm tight around her shoulders. "Bella, you should have thought about everyone who needs you, everyone who wouldn't have been able to go on without you."

"Carlisle, I didn't try to kill myself," she interrupted, staring up at me in disbelief.

"So you didn't jump off a cliff? You didn't have to pulled out by Jacob and revived because you stopped breathing?" I could barely say the last words, my throat closing up at the mental images that wouldn't leave me alone.

"Well, yeah, but it was for fun!" she defended herself. "The La Push boys do it all the time."

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry or scold her. "We're going to talk about this, Bella. But not right now. Go to sleep, doctor's orders."

"Don't leave, Carlisle," she whispered, her eyes already closing.

I leaned down and brushed a light kiss across her forehead. "I'll be here," I said softly.

But she was already asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Carlisle's POV:**

I heard Charlie come in around 4 a.m. He was trying to be quiet, but my sensitive hearing picked up every sound he made. He shuffled into the kitchen and I heard the coffeepot start up after a few minutes.

Bella shifted but didn't awaken as I carefully stood up and eased out of the room. With one last glance to be sure she was still asleep, I shut the door quietly behind me.

I purposely made some noise going down the stairs, so I wouldn't startle Charlie.

"Bella?" he called out groggily. "I told you not to wait up for me."

"It's actually me, Charlie," I answered, stepping into the kitchen.

The man did a double take. "Carlisle Cullen? That you?"

I offered him my hand. "Yes, believe it or not. It's been awhile, hasn't it? Bella let me in, I hope you don't mind."

The chief was exhausted, and I didn't think he could've protested if he'd wanted to. He shook my hand briefly. "No, of course I don't mind. Sit down, Dr. Cullen. Coffee?"

I took a seat on a barstool. "No, thanks. Esme's been trying to get me to cut back." I could have drank it if I'd had to, but I would rather avoid it.

I let a beat pass. "I heard about Harry Clearwater, Charlie. I'm sorry."

He sat down across from me, nursing his cup of steaming black coffee. "Yeah, me too."

"Charlie, I saw Bella."

His gaze met mine, and I saw the trapped pain in his dark eyes. The helplessness of a father who can do nothing but watch his reason for existing just wither away.

"How long?" I asked gently. I had a feeling I already knew the answer, but I had to know, if I was going to help Bella.

"Since you guys left. Since _he _left." There was a hint of recrimination in his tone. It was less than I deserved.

"I had no idea," I said, as his gaze dropped back into the coffee cup. "No idea at all it was going to affect her like that."

He started to speak, but the words never formed on his lips. A bloodcurdling scream ripped through the house, and I would swear it threatened to shake the very foundation.

I leaped up at vampire speed, forgetting to keep up the pretense. I stole a quick glance at Charlie, but he was staring at the staircase, his shoulders slumped. "It's her nightmares. I can't stop them. Every night…"

The scream came again, and I shuddered. I'd never heard her scream like that. Not even when James was intent on torturing her to death had I heard such raw terror and agony.

Charlie rose, exhaustion and hurt written on every line of his features. "I need to go see if I can wake her."

I stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Let me, Charlie. Let me try. Please."

He shrugged, stepping back so I could pass. "I hope to God you can help her, Dr. Cullen, because I've tried everything. I can't."

I gave him an understanding nod before taking the stairs. It was all I could do to remain at human speed as Bella's wrenching screams tore the air. As soon as I was out of Charlie's sight, I raced to her door and went inside.

She lay rigid on her bed, covers kicked to the floor. Her hands were tiny fists, clenched and held tightly at her sides. Her back arched as she screamed again.

_What have we done? _I wondered again, my eyes welling with venom tears I could never cry.

Slowly, I grabbed her shoulders and shook her with just enough force to wake her. "Bella! Bella, wake up! It's me, it's Carlisle. It's Daddy." My voice broke on the last word. I no longer had the right to expect her to call me that, no matter how much of a rapport we'd established…before.

I smoothed her sweat-soaked hair, lifting her into my lap as her screams turned into sobs. She filled her fists with my baby blue T-shirt, holding on as if her life depended on it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this one's short, guys. I'll post again tomorrow or maybe even tonight to make up for it. Please remember, if you read then review!**

**Carlisle's POV:**

I smoothed her sweat-soaked hair, lifting her into my lap as her screams turned into sobs. She filled her fists with my baby blue T-shirt, holding on as if her life depended on it.

"Shh, Bella, baby. I'm here now. I won't ever leave again."

"Yeah, I've heard that before," she snapped, pushing me away. "You promised before, Carlisle, remember? And then the next thing I know I'm just alone. No goodbye, no I'm sorry, no explanation, no nothing! You just left! Edward said -" she cut herself off abruptly, still crying.

Cut by her outburst, but not surprised, I let her vent. "We did it for you, Bella."

"Does it look like you helped me by leaving?" she growled, her voice hoarse from screaming. "Do I look safe and happy? Do I look like I ever _forgot?"_

She seemed to get herself under control. "When you guys left, it was like I was lost in those woods all over again. Tripping and falling, wandering endlessly, trying to escape the crushing, smothering darkness. Only this time you weren't there to pick me up and make it better. Every day was the same. I woke up every morning and all I could do was repeat the same endless, forsaken eternity."

Her words cut deep, but it was less than I deserved. I knew the anger was part of the healing process. She needed to get it out.

"I mean, I understand how you guys couldn't love me," she whispered. "But I got used to believing you did. And when you just left…reality was harsher than I ever dreamed it could be."

Shocked, I tried to tell her how wrong she was, but she just kept going. "I'm sorry you felt you had to come back. You don't have to feel guilty, Carlisle. I get it."

I shook her, just a little. "Bella! You don't mean that. We _do _love you. _All _of us," I emphasized.

Suddenly fear shone in her eyes. "I'm sorry for yelling, Carlisle. Please don't leave. I won't yell at you any more."

I folded her into my chest. "It's natural for you to be angry, Bella. Go ahead, yell at me if it will make you feel better. There's nothing you can do to ever make me leave again. I love you, Bells. And I'll do anything to prove it to you."

After a long, torturous moment, her arms snaked around my waist and she held on tightly.

"Do you want to tell me about the dream?" I asked gently.

She choked back a sob. "No."

I didn't press the matter. There would be time. Lots of it, if I had my way. I would call the others by tonight, and together we would convince Edward he had to come back. It was killing her, just as surely as it had been killing him every moment since we'd left Forks.


	4. Chapter 4

**Carlisle's POV:**

I left Bella taking a hot shower and headed downstairs to speak to Charlie.

He was still in the same position, slumped over his now-cold cup of coffee.

"She's okay for now," I replied to his searching look.

"Thanks, Dr. Cullen," he said wearily. "I was going to go to the funeral today, but I don't think she's up to it, and I don't want to leave her alone. Poor Sue…" he sighed, raking a hand through his hair.

"I'll stay with her," I offered quickly. "You need to go be with Harry's family."

He hesitated. "Are you guys back to stay?"

I thought quickly and made a decision. "If all goes well, then yes, we are. Esme hated L.A, and I have to admit the big city can't compare with small-town life. She'll bring the rest of the family on tomorrow. I came early to air out the house."

Charlie's eyes turned hard. "What about _him?"  
_I sighed. "He's in South America, doing research there."  
Charlie's shoulders relaxed just a little bit. "Tell Alice not to be a stranger."

"I will, and I hope you know you're welcome in our home anytime – Bella, too."

"Are you sure you don't mind staying with her?"

I smiled. "Not at all."

He rose slowly. "I guess I'll be going, then."

"You need some rest, Charlie."

"I'll catch a nap at Sue's."

I wasn't satisfied, but I let it go. I didn't blame him for spending so much time away from home. It had to be agony to watch Bella falling apart.

Guilt flooded me again.

He dumped his coffee in the sink and headed towards the door. As he passed me, I said, "I'm sorry, Charlie."

He hesitated before patting me on the back. "It's not your fault, Dr. Cullen."

But it was my fault. It was more my fault than he would ever know.

I heard Charlie's car pull out of the driveway and the water shut off upstairs – Bella would be down soon. The first order of business was getting some food into her.

After that I would call Esme.

**Bella's POV:  
**

I can't believe I yelled at him like that.

Fear shivered through me as I toweled off. What if he left? What if he was so disgusted with my outburst that he decided I wasn't worth the trouble?

Edward's words kept running through my mind…_You were just a distraction, Bella…I don't love you. None of us do…A plaything…I'm just sorry I let it go on as long as I did…_

I shuddered made up my mind to apologize immediately, if he was still there.

I put on my favorite Arizona t-shirt and a faded pair of jeans – they were the only pair that would still fit me, and they still hung loosely at my waist. I had been putting off going shopping for new ones, because every time I stepped inside a clothing store I couldn't help but think of Alice.

My hair had long since lost its shiny luster. It would do nothing but hang limply, so I forced it back in a ponytail before slowly heading downstairs to the kitchen. I still wasn't sure Carlisle had not been a dream, that when I got downstairs it would only be Charlie making breakfast.

But to my delight it was Carlisle that faced me, holding frying pan in one hand and an egg in the other.

These were quickly set aside as he held his arms out to me. "Good morning, Bella. Come give me a hug."

I wavered in disbelief before my needy side won over. The feel of his stone arms around me, holding me tight, was almost enough to make me believe Edward had lied.

But it made no sense for them to love me.

"I'm making breakfast," he informed me, when he finally let me go. "Sit down, I hope you're hungry."

Watching him in the kitchen was a bittersweet thing. Against my will, I remembered the first time Carlisle had made breakfast for me – the day the bonds between us had truly begun to form.

_Flashback:_

_I headed downstairs after I got out of the shower. To my surprise, Carlisle was cooking breakfast. I slid onto a barstool as he glanced away from the pan of eggs. "Feel better?"_

_"Much. Thanks."_

_"No problem," he said easily, flipping the eggs. He must have seen my surprised look, because he laughed before turning them onto a plate. "Esme's not the only domestic one around here, you know," he said, setting them and a piece of toast in front of me with a flourish. I dug in. "Nothing should surprise me any more," I said, swallowing. "Wow, Carlisle, this is great."_

_He smiled in delight. "I don't get much practice."_

_I had to laugh at that. "No, I guess you don't."_

_End Flashback._

I blinked, forcing myself out of the past. That was before, I reminded myself. Both Carlisle and Edward had promised me that day to never leave me. They'd promised to be there forever.

I was so stupid.

He set the plate in front of me and produced a fork. "Eat up. I'd hate for my cooking skills to go to waste."

"Thanks," I said, then thought to ask, "Where's Charlie?"

"He went to the Clearwaters again," Carlisle said.

"Oh."

The hole was back. I realized it as I pushed my food around on my plate. With Carlisle had come memories of _him, _and I couldn't get them out of my mind. Carlisle's presence here was a gift – a temporary gift, but I was glad that he was here until he got tired of me – but in no way could he fill the ache in my soul Edward had left.

Abruptly, I laid the fork on the plate. I was about to tell Carlisle I wasn't hungry when I saw his face.

There was a mixture of concern and guilt in his expressive ocher eyes, as he stared at my pitiful attempt to eat. And it was the guilt that prompted me to eat a few more bites. Because no matter how much the Cullens had deceived me, I still loved them.

I still loved my second dad.


	5. Chapter 5

**Carlisle's POV:**

Esme picked up on the second ring. "Carlisle, how is she?"

"Nice to hear your voice, too," I teased her gently.

A pause. "Carlisle…"

I sobered up. "It wasn't a suicide attempt. But it might as well have been one. Esme, I hope you didn't get too attached to L.A."

"Why?" she breathed, and I could tell she was trying not to get her hopes up.

"Pack your bags, love. We're moving back to Forks."

"We'll be there by Monday, Carlisle. But how is she…really?"

I hesitated. There were no words to describe the hell Bella was going through. "She needs us, Esme. It was a terrible mistake we made."

"What do we do about Edward?"

"Don't say a word to him yet, love. Make sure the others know to stay silent as well. Let's take this one step at a time."  
"I love you, Carlisle. See you soon."

"I love you, too, Esme. Goodbye."

I hung up the phone, hearing Bella's footsteps on the stairs. "Carlisle?" she called uncertainly, her steps slowing.

"I'm here," I replied, assuring her I hadn't left. "Waiting for you."

She came forward almost hesitantly and hugged me, as if to be sure I was real. Another little piece of my dead heart crumbled. I could remember a time not so long ago when she'd launch herself into my arms as easily as she did Edward's, and _I love you, Daddy _came as naturally as breathing.

The phone rang, and Bella moved to the side table to answer it. "Hello, Bella Swan," she said, then a smile popped out on her face. "Hey, Jake! What's up?"

She listened a moment and sighed. I fought back a smile; I could clearly hear every word. _Is that bloodsucker still hanging around?_

"Jacob." Bella's displeasure was evident in that one word, and I silently applauded that spark of her old fight.

_Sorry, Bella. Let me rephrase. Is the honorable Dr. Cullen still a revered guest in your humble home?_

Bella stifled a giggle and glanced sheepishly at me – she knew all about my enhanced hearing.

"Yes, Jake," she said patiently. "He is. He's also standing right next to me, so please watch your big fat mouth."

_I don't care if he's got the receiver plastered to his ear. You know they're just going to break your heart again, Bella._

I saw her stiffen and one hand went automatically to her chest, as if she were trying to hold herself together.

I moved forward and took the phone, my patience with the werewolf running extremely low.

"Jacob, this is the revered Dr. Cullen," I said sharply, my earlier good-natured humor vanished completely. "Now that I have the receiver plastered to my ear, say what you're going to say to _me, _and not to Bella. She's been through enough without you adding to it."

A couple of choice words erupted out of the wolf's mouth, and I felt my temper getting the best of me. "It's bad enough that she's hanging out with a dog, but one with a potty mouth? Like it or not, we're back in her life. So back off."

I hung up the phone, scolding myself for losing it like that, but a feeling of satisfaction crept in anyway. _Take that, Jacob Black, and stay away from my girl._

Bella was watching me in open-mouthed amazement. "Who are you and what have you done with Carlisle?"

I smirked.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks so much for reviewing! This chapter is dedicated to you guys. You rock!**

**Bella's POV:**

I would have to apologize to Jake later and smooth his ruffled feathers, but I didn't doubt that he'd deserved Carlisle's rebuke. I could only guess what he'd said to elicit such a reaction from the even-tempered doctor.

"I was going to check on the house," Carlisle said, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Why don't you grab a jacket, and we'll take my car."

I was unwilling to let him out of my sight any longer than I had to, so I nodded even though I knew I would have to face all the memories and ghosts that the Cullens had left behind in that house.

"I'll be right back," I said. "I have to run up to my room for my jacket."

In my haste I forgot to be careful and caught my shoe on the bottom stair. I'm still the only person I know of who can fall _up _the stairs.

"I'm all right," I called out for Carlisle's benefit, feeling a blush work its way up the back of my neck.

I snagged a light denim jacket out of my closet and shrugged into it as I walked, being more careful this time. Falling _down _the stairs would do a lot more damage than falling up them would. Trust me. I know.

Carlisle raised an eyebrow as he held the door for me. "Some things never change, I see," he teased lightly. "Sure you're not hurt?"

"I'm sure," I told him, rolling my eyes when he couldn't see.

"Don't roll your eyes at me," he said with mock sternness, and I shook my head. Even after all these months he knew me too well.

He insisted on opening the car door for me, always the perfect gentleman. Just like – I cut the name off before it could materialize in my head. I couldn't afford to have an episode right now. I would need all my strength for facing the house.

We made the drive in relative silence. I hadn't been here since…they'd left. The pain had been too much. I could hardly bear to see their empty table at school, much less the place where so many happy memories had been made…and then forgotten forever by someone who had loved me very much. Or at least had pretended to.

I stole a glance at Carlisle. Surely he didn't see me as…_he _had said. Surely Carlisle didn't only think of me as a plaything, a distraction.

But either way he would have to leave eventually. Either way I had to be careful not to get too attached.

"Here we are," Carlisle said, breaking me out of my reverie. He switched off the car and was around opening the door for me before I got my seatbelt off.

I followed him up to the porch, waiting while he inserted his key in the door. It all looked the same – a little rundown and uncared for, but it was still the same.

The inside had a slightly musty smell to it, and white sheets covered all the furniture. Carlisle wandered towards the kitchen, but I stopped in the family room.

I knew just where it would be. Like all the rest of the things the Cullens had left behind, it was covered with a sheet, but the shape of it was unmistakable. I wavered, wondering if the pain would be too much, but in the end I carefully uncovered it and sat down at the black walnut bench.

Protected and kept dust-free by the sheet, the ivory keys gleamed and glistened, as if it hadn't been almost half a year since they'd been touched.

I gently laid my fingers on top of them, and suddenly Edward was beside me, sitting so close our legs touched, his smell enveloping my senses and making me snuggle closer.

The whole family was gathered in the room, even Rosalie, though she made a point of ignoring me. Emmett was leaning against the couch, making bets with Jasper over a football game, even though we knew Jasper had inside information from Alice.

Esme and Carlisle were lost in a world of their own making, and Edward and I might as well have been alone. That was fine with us.

He smiled at me, stealing a kiss before turning his attention to the piano. Softly, he began to play, his long fingers dropping soft caresses on the keys. My lullaby. The one he'd written just for me.

I'd always been sort of tone deaf, but after weeks of patience, Edward had finally taught me how to play it – not as gracefully or as beautifully as he did, but I could play it.

I didn't realize my fingers had found the melody until my tears began to drop onto the keys. The haunting music stirred up too many memories.

Abruptly, I stood, and the house was a shell again. Empty. Broken. Lonely. Just like me.

Carlisle was standing in the doorway, he must have heard the music. "I'm sorry, I can't," I sobbed, and pushed past him.

Outside, I gulped in air, wrapping my arms around my chest. The music continued to play in my mind – the only place it still existed, because when _he_ left he took everything. The pictures, the CDs, every tangible thing that had existed between us.

He wanted no proof that he'd ever loved me left behind. He was that ashamed. He wanted no one to know about the stupid, weak, pathetic human he'd once claimed to love.

And the saddest part of all was that I couldn't blame him.


	7. Chapter 7

**This is the next-to-last chapter, and it's a little long…I hope you enjoy it anyway. This is dedicated to my reviewers – you guys are awesome.**

**Carlisle's POV: **

I should have known better. I should have known it was too soon, the pain was too raw.

When I heard the music, I remembered as she must have remembered. Our family was together again. Happy. Unbroken. This house a home again.

I let her go when she ran past me, knowing she would need a few minutes to pull herself back together.

_Hurry home, my love, _I thought. _I need you. Bella needs you. And until you come back, we can't even begin to rebuild our family._

Slowly, I pushed myself off the doorjamb and went to join Bella outside. This house's memories were painful for me, too. Not as painful as they were to her, but painful nonetheless.

She didn't say anything all the way back to Charlie's house. I didn't push her, hoping that Esme could help me know what to do when she returned.

**Bella's POV:**

I didn't sleep that night.

Jacob's dream-catcher hung on my headboard. I still remembered him giving it to me – he said it would catch bad dreams and keep them away.

It hadn't worked.

Charlie had come home not long after Carlisle and I had come back from our disaster of a drive. Carlisle had left soon afterwards, but I knew he wasn't far away. Charlie had gone right to bed, skipping supper. So I did, too. But sleep hadn't come easily, and with it came the dreams. My clock glowed in the darkness – 3 a.m.

I booted up my laptop and directed it to my email. I wasn't surprised to see that my inbox was empty. No one had bothered to email me in months. Even Renee had given up on me.

I scrolled down fifty-one failed messages. My emails to Alice were the only way I had been able to cope in the days after the Cullens' departure. She'd never received them, would probably laugh if she'd been able to, but I couldn't help but think of her as my best friend and sister. And that's the Alice I wrote to.

_Dear Alice,_

_I went with Carlisle to the house today. It was even worse than I thought it would be. It's so empty, Alice. I miss you. I miss everyone._

_I keep waiting for Carlisle to disappear again. He says he won't, but how can he stay? He has all of you waiting for him to come home. I'm not much reason for him to stay in Forks. For any of you to stay, apparently._

_It's no kind of life, Alice. I'm stuck in yesterday. Always looking back, never moving forward. Edward ordered me to forget…but I'm terrified that I will. I can't forget, Alice. I'll go crazy for certain if I do._

_I love you, Alice. Please don't laugh at me._

_Bella_

I hit Send. Just like always, the failed delivery message popped up on my screen.

The story of my life.

A soft tap at my window made me jump, snapping the computer lid closed. Quickly, I turned on the lamp as Carlisle let himself in.

"You should be asleep," he said disapprovingly.

I shivered. "Close the window," I said. "It's cold in here."

He frowned as he did. "If you had some meat on your bones, you wouldn't be cold all the time," he pointed out.

I was too tired to argue with him, so I just shrugged and laid the computer on my desk. "Better keep it down, Charlie's just down the hall," I said, climbing back into bed.

"He was exhausted; he'll sleep like the dead. You, however…"

I pulled my comforter up to my shoulders. "Will you stay?"

"Always," he whispered. "Go to sleep, I'm here."

_You can't keep the nightmares away any more than Jacob's dream-catcher can. There's only one person who can stop them._

I didn't say the words.

**Carlisle's POV:**

She was asleep within minutes. I heard her breathing slow and even out, and I knew that for the moment at least, Bella was at peace.

That was one of many things I envied humans for. The ability to sleep was the ability to shut out and forget the things that were troubling you. For those of my kind, there was no getting away.

Her room was unnaturally neat. There was literally nothing out of place. Her books were in alphabetical order. The rug was perfectly aligned in the center of the room. I couldn't have found a speck of dust if I'd tried.

Another thing I noticed…there was no music. All her CDs were gone. And her prized Tangled DVD wasn't in her movie shelf anymore.

We'd stolen her childhood and her carefree happiness. Would I ever forgive myself? I doubted it. But I would settle for her forgiving me.

"Alice," Bella whispered. I turned to listen. "Alice, I miss you."

A quiet sob followed the words. She was crying, even in her sleep. "Edward said I was only a pet to all of you, a distraction. It's not true, is it, Alice? Please say it's not true."

If I ever got my hands on my son…I never dreamed he'd told her something that horrible. No wonder she couldn't open up to me, if she believed that.

"Edward, don't go. I'll do anything. I love you. Why don't you want me?"

Her voice was so plaintively sad, I closed my eyes to keep her sorrow from drowning me.

**Carlisle's POV:**

"Charlie, do you mind if I take Bella to the house with me today? Esme's coming home, and I know she'd like to see Bella."

Despite finally getting a full night's sleep, Charlie still looked tired. "I have to go to Seattle. Cop business. So that'll work out fine."

I was surprised that he wasn't putting up more of a fuss. Good grief, was he completely oblivious?

As if reading my mind, he looked up. "I know what you're thinking, Dr. Cullen. But this is the first time in months that I've seen her leave the house for anything other than school. Yesterday was the first real smile I've seen in months. Whatever you're doing, Dr. Cullen, keep doing it. Her depression is killing us both."

Without further preamble he nodded goodbye to me and left. I heard the squad car start and drive away.

"Charlie's a good man. He just doesn't have a clue."

I looked up as Bella came into the kitchen. I hoped she hadn't heard about Esme's coming back. I wanted that to be a surprise.

"I'm not going back to the house." The words were delivered in a monotone as she moved to the coffeepot and poured herself a cup.

"I know," I answered gently. "That was for Charlie's benefit."

She returned to sit beside me, wrapping her hands around her mug. The lifeless look was back in her eyes.

"I do want you to come outside for a few minutes," I went on. "I have something to show you."

She shrugged.

Right on schedule, I heard tires crunch on the gravel as someone pulled into the drive. "Come on, Bella, you'll like it."

She got up and followed me to the door. There, waiting on the porch, were five very anxious vampires – well, four anxious vampires. Rosalie just looked bored.

Bella's heart stopped for one full beat before resuming double time. Esme held out her arms, and Bella ran into them without hesitating. "Oh, Bella, my Bella," Esme whispered, wrapping our daughter in her stone arms.

"Hey, little sis, it's my turn," Emmett boomed, earning himself a dirty look from Rosalie.

"Emmett, I missed you so much," Bella sobbed, as Alice descended on her. "I missed you all so much."

"Well, I hate to break up the party," cut in a very masculine and somewhat sheepish voice, "but I don't appreciate being called a dog – or a potty mouth."


	8. Chapter 8

**This is taking longer to wrap up than I thought…but this is definitely the next to last chapter. Not to worry, folks, Edward and Bella will have a happy ending. Last chapter will be up by tomorrow. Thanks for being patient. **

**Bella's POV:**

"Oh my god, what is that _smell?" _Alice groaned, as the vampires whirled to face the intruder. "It's like wet dog, times ten!"

Jacob growled. Alice snarled back.  
I stepped in before things could get ugly.

"Jacob, it's best if you leave now," I said firmly – well, as firmly as I could be with tears of happiness still clogging my throat.

"Without even getting introduced?" he asked, feigning affront, his tone mocking and bitter.

I figured that was the fastest way to get rid of him without causing bloodshed, so I complied. "Fine. Jacob, this is Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Esme, and you've already met Carlisle."

"Yeah, Doc Fang and I are real good buddies already," he said, sarcasm dripping off of every word. "Right, Doc?"

I couldn't tell, but I think Carlisle was trying to stifle a laugh. "Right, dog," he said with no venom in his voice.

Jake smirked. "Blondie and I have met as well. Right, Blondie?"

Rosalie didn't bother to reply, and I found myself wondering what _that _was all about.

"So you're back," Jacob said, looking the irritated Cullens up and down. His voice wasn't angry anymore, just resigned.

He looked back at me. "What happens now, Bella?"

I could tell my family was just itching to speak, but they stayed silent. They knew I had to handle this. Some paths I had to take alone.

"Jacob, I need to talk to you." I looked back at Carlisle, who didn't look thrilled but nodded at me to go ahead. I knew they'd be watching, and I was touched even though the thought of needing protecting from Jake was preposterous.

I led him to the end of the drive, where they could see us but not hear us.

He crossed his arms and waited for me to speak.

"I'm sorry," I began, knowing this was best, but that didn't make it any easier. "I used you, Jake, to fill my heart up. I used you to take away my pain, and I was too selfish to stop even when I saw what it was doing to you."

He looked at me sadly. "Then it's over between us?"

"There was never any _us _to begin with, Jacob. We were friends and nothing more. And I might not be one of _them, _physically, but in here," I placed my hand on my heart, "I already am. They are where I belong, Jacob, and that was written in the stars long before you or I ever realized this world existed."

"He's not coming back," he said, genuine pleading in his voice. That, more than anything, broke my heart. Why didn't he yell and shout and get angry and storm away? Anything but beg me to stay.

"I know," I said, bracing myself for the ripping pain that closed off my chest and made it hard to breathe. "But even if he doesn't, that won't change my decision. More than Edward defines me, Jacob. More than that love. I belong with them. We were born on opposite sides of an ongoing war."

Without warning he drew me into his arms, nearly crushing me with his grip. He buried his face in my hair, memorizing me, remembering me, saying his final goodbye.

"I'll still love you, Bella," he said roughly, his voice low and emotional. "I don't care if they stop your heart and turn the warmth of you into cold stone. I will still love you. And I will always be there to take you back."

He pressed one last kiss on my lips, before I could stop him, and then he was gone.

I watched my former best friend disappear down the street, tears trickling down my face. No matter what he'd said about always being there, I knew better. So would he, in time.

The bonds I had severed today would always be just that – severed, with no hope of redemption or repair.

My family surrounded me before Jacob was out of sight, lovingly wiping my tears away and stroking my hair. Jasper was emitting waves of contentment and happiness, and it was hard not to go with the flow.

So I did.

"You made the right choice," Esme crooned to me. "I'm proud of you, sweetheart."

Emmett grabbed me in a crushing hug. "I love you, little sis."

"Can't…breathe…Emmett!"

"Oops, sorry," he said, loosening his grip.

I smiled, and for the first time in months, it wasn't a put-on. My family was back, and Edward had lied.

They loved me. Even if he didn't, the rest of them did. I could live with that. Maybe not as happily, not as completely, but I could live and maybe even grow to enjoy it.

I hadn't lied to Jacob. It had always run deeper than Edward and me. This was the way of life I had chosen – or rather, it had chosen me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Well, this is it – the last chapter. I hope you enjoy it, and please don't forget to leave a review when you're finished!**

**Carlisle's POV:**

It took some convincing, but I finally got Esme and the others to go back to our house. I could hardly bear to separate them from Bella, but I didn't feel up to explaining what was going on to Charlie, when he came home.

"Are you going to stay?" Bella asked me, a faint glow touching her cheeks. I chucked her under the chin affectionately. "I have to run over to my house first, but after that, you just try and get rid of me."

"What are we going to tell Charlie?" was her next question.

"The truth – Esme hated L.A. and we're moving back here. Think the hospital will give me my job back?" I teased her.

She rolled her eyes. "The nurses will probably throw a welcome home party."

I narrowed my eyes. "And will my wife be invited?" I asked playfully.

"Probably not."

It was good to hear her laugh. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed it until now.

/ / / / / /

Esme spent four hours on the phone with Edward. Then Alice got on the line, and I winced as she blistered his ear for nearly ten minutes straight. Edward got an earful from each and every member of the family before I finally wrestled the phone away from Emmett.

"Carlisle," he greeted me wearily. "I guess it's your turn, huh?"

"Don't worry, son, I think you've had enough."

A heavy sigh. "You know it was all for her good."

"That's the only reason I backed you up in the first place, Edward. The only reason we all consented to leave her. But the plan completely derailed."

"So I hear. Were they exaggerating, Carlisle?"

I wasn't sure exactly what they'd been telling him, but there was no way they could've exaggerated. Bella had been at rock bottom.

"No," I told him truthfully.

"You know, I thought I could do it. I really, really did. I thought I could stay away from her."

"You're not doing anyone any good," I finally said, opting to play straight with him. "The whole family's done nothing but fall apart without her."

"I'm coming home, Carlisle," he said, his voice infused with steel. "I'll be there as soon as I can get a flight."

The whole room exploded with happiness.

"Are we telling Bella?" Esme asked me, after I'd said goodbye and hung up.

"No," I decided. "We'll let him surprise her. I think she's had enough shock for today anyway. I need to get back to Charlie's house for tonight."

"Let me go," Esme requested. "I need some time with her."

Alice started to protest, but I held up a hand. "There will be time," I told her. "Esme, go ahead. She needs to know we're not all going to disappear again."

She kissed me, gently, before flying upstairs to get a few things.

This would work out all around – Esme would get some bonding time with Bella, and I would get to spend some quality time with a family I'd seen far too little of in the past weeks.

**Bella's POV:**

I kissed a bemused Charlie good night and left him to his football game. All but dancing up the stairs, I got a quick shower before flopping down on my bed to wait for Carlisle.

I heard Charlie turn off the TV and head to bed; half an hour later the house was silent and still.

A few moments later the soft tap I'd been waiting for reaching my ears. I unlocked the window and opened it, surprised to see Esme instead of Carlisle climb into my room.

"Hello, Bella," she greeted me as I closed the window. "I hope you don't mind. I thought you could use some girl time – with a little less exuberance than Alice had in mind."

After I recovered from my initial surprise, I was glad to see her. "Of course I don't mind, Esme."

She picked up my brush and ran it through my tangled hair, her touch so gentle I hardly felt the snarls unraveling. "I missed you, Bella."

Her tone was so soft, so full of remorse, that I felt tears spring to my eyes. "I missed you too, Esme." My voice cracked slightly, and I turned around and flung myself into her arms.

"I'm sorry," she said, her eyes shining with tears she could not cry. "We shouldn't have left you."

I swallowed the tears back with an effort – I'd cried too much over the last months. It was time to move on.

"You know, Charlie and Renee are good people, but they were never really my parents," I told her a little later, when we'd both gotten ourselves under control.

She didn't say anything, just let me say it in my own time. "With Renee, it was like I was the parent, most of the time. I mean, she's a great person, but she never grew up."

"I liked your mom, but I understand," Esme said softly.

"And Charlie. He tries. He really, really tries, but he doesn't have a clue. It's you guys who treat me like a daughter. You and Carlisle."

Esme's smile and hug bathed me in warmth. I shoved all thoughts of Jacob's broken heart to the edge of mind, and concentrated on being loved.

/ / / / / /

"Is there any special reason behind this visit?" I asked suspiciously, as Emmett towed me out to his big monster Jeep and strapped me in, as if he were afraid I might escape.

"Don't you want to come and visit?" he asked innocently – too innocently. A mischievous Emmett I could handle. When he started acting angelic, that was when you had to watch him.

"Of course I do," I said. "You're just acting…weird."

"I am not."

"Okay," I said, resigning myself to whatever they had planned for me. Alice had dressed me in designer jeans and a turquoise blouse with silver trim. She'd tried to talk me into a silky, dark blue top, but I told her I didn't wear blue anymore. Edward's favorite color was more than I could handle.

She hadn't argued, though I could tell she wanted to, and went with her second choice.

And then, promptly at five, Emmett came to pick me up. Ten minutes after Charlie left to watch the Super Bowl with Billy Black.

It didn't take us long to pull up to the house. Emmett escorted me to the door, where Esme and Alice were waiting. Jasper hovered in the hallway, offering me a guarded smile. He still blamed himself for the party incident. I would have to straighten that out, later.

"Bella, you look beautiful," Esme said, ushering me inside. "I think Carlisle wants to show you something in the family room. Why don't you go see? The rest of us will be there in a minute – we have something to do first."

I was still suspicious, but I nodded and walked to the family room. I had been afraid the house would send me into another episode, but it was the same again – it was warm and filled with life, with Esme's touch turning it from a cold shell to a home again. If I were careful, I could walk through it without being constantly reminded of _him. _Every new memory I made here would help me heal.

I pushed open the door to the family room, looking for Carlisle. When I didn't see him right away, I shut the door and moved towards the other end of the room. "Carlisle? Esme said you want to show me – "

The person I'd assumed was Carlisle moved into the circle of light, arms at his sides, his face guarded but hopeful.

"Edward," I gasped, backing up a step. He didn't move, his gaze watchful and waiting.

"How did you – I mean why are you…" I couldn't string a coherent sentence together. My heart was pounding as I blinked and looked again, to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.

My memory hadn't done him justice.

"I'm here to stay, Bella, if you want me." His voice was controlled, but I knew him well enough to recognize the underlying tone. Was that…pleading? No. He didn't love me. He didn't even _like _me.

"I know what I said in the woods," he went on, reading my thoughts in my face. "I know, Bella, and I know it must have hurt you terribly. But I lied."

"You…lied?" I said in disbelief. Was this a joke? A cruel, thoughtless joke?

"I did it to protect you," he said, his hands coming up automatically, extending towards me with palms up. "I never wanted this life for you, Bella. It was the only thing I could do. I was so surprised when you believed me so quickly," he murmured. "I thought it would take hours of convincing before I ever planted the least seed of doubt."

"It makes no sense for you to love me," I said, proud of myself for having such a steady voice. "It never did, Edward."

"No!" he burst out. "I'm the one who doesn't deserve you. A monster loving an angel – that's what I was. What I am."  
He had lied.

Edward loved me.

He'd come back.

I launched myself into his arms.

"It's a good thing you're bulletproof, you know," I told him later. We were in the family room, all of us, and I was seated on Edward's lap. I would never let him out my sight again.

"Why's that?" he asked in a teasing tone. "Are you planning to shoot me?"

"No, silly," I told him. "But Charlie might."

"We'll handle Charlie," Edward said. "I won't ever let you go again."

The rest of my family filed out quietly, to give us some privacy, so I twined my arms around his neck.

"You know, Bella, I spent all that time in South America, trying to forget you. I thought I could run far enough to get away from your memory."

He rested his forehead against mine. "Did it work?" I whispered.

"No," he said emphatically. "There is no place that far, Bella. There is no spot in this world I could go to get away from you. You've got me now for the long haul, Miss Swan," he teased lightly, rubbing my nose with his.

Suddenly, happily-ever-after didn't seem so unattainable, after all.


End file.
